When one hears the word fellowship, I would assume the immediate thought would be to something religious, which is probably how it is used for the most part. Like, brothers and sisters in Christ come together in fellowship to worship. But it can be used in ways disconnected from religion... I consider anytime you come together with the people who mean the most to you, and feel renewed, suddenly enlightened by life and ready to begin again, well, that is fellowship. It is to be suddenly hit with the feeling of how thankful you are...when you are having a horrible horrible day and those people lift you up and remind you why it is so much better to be happy. They show you how to let things roll off, they carry your burdens on their shoulders just to see you get relief. They hold your hand and look right in your eyes and tell you the truth, even if the truth is really the last thing you want to hear. When you are folded within the group you feel at home with...almost more than you do at your actual home.
Pulling each other through, enjoying each other, enjoying it all...
What a great thing fellowship is... How does anyone get by without it?
I have been beyond blessed with the people in my life. My high school friends, who still remain important to me and hold a special nook in my heart gave me fellowship for the years that shaped my very being. And now, my college friends continue to carry me around and keep me stable.
This past week has been wonderful in a sense and terrible in another. My emotions have been on the extreme side of whatever they may be...mad=furious, sad=depressed, happy=over the top, but with a harder fall...and I just haven't been able to balance myself. (Thanks, PCOS. ) Every little thing has, somehow, been a personal attack on me in my crazy mind full of unbalanced hormones bouncing around like a sugar high child in a bouncy castle... For those of you who don't understand (because I know there are many), having a good, normal day is like trying to climb up a steep hill made of loose gravel using only your hands. It's hard. It's a forced effort... and I'm getting tired.
So right now, fellowship is what is keeping me afloat. It reminds me of what I have and who I have, and I love that.
Sometimes, a night out getting ice cream and jamming with the girls is what I need to bring myself up to the top of that gravel mountain. It doesn't mean I wont fall back down, but I made it for a little while. And at this point if is just so refreshing to feel happy and carefree for even a little while.
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